Our Saturday

We had such a good day on Saturday. The weather was awesome so we went hiking through our woods. We put on some old clothes and just walked. Brynn loves playing in the creek behind our house. Watching the leaves float down it are just about the best thing to her.

One of my heroes

I am truly blessed in my life. My mom died when I was 21 years old. She was too young to die and I was too young for her to die. But sometimes you are provided with just what you need when you need it. To me this means one of the most special people in my life-my "work Mom", Janet. She was there for me whenever I needed her-through our infertility, my dad's kidney cancer and ultimate death, and the adoption of our Brynn. She is truly an amazing woman.

She retired 2 years ago when her mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Since her retirement her mom has died of the cancer, her mother-in-law died from breast cancer, her sister-in-law's stomach cancer has come back, and she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. But the worst part so far has got to be her 2.5 year old grandson's recent diagnosis of neuroblastoma, which is a childhood cancer. And it is Stage IV. It is such a sad diagnosis, yet the hope is great that he will survive. But throughout all of this, she has remained true to herself, her faith and her family. I am so blessed to have this woman in my life.

Some People

I was at the grocery store yesterday and ran into someone that I haven't seen for a while. She had heard that we were going back to China and I, of course, said whenever China tells us to come. She reminded me that her son and daughter-in-law had adopted a son from Russia and they were thinking of going back since Russia had reopened. (which I didn't know) I told her they should definitely go and get the girl they want. And she responded, "Well, you know they had one of their own." What, the adopted child isn't theirs? Only bio kids are ours? That kind of stuff drives me insane maybe because I am from one of "those families" that have adopted and bio kids and we are all siblings. There is no difference. And just as an aside--My brother's adoption was $25. My sister's was $50. Ours are costing us a little more than that:)

Not all Sunshine-y

I am normally a pretty upbeat person. Ask everyone around me. I don't let stuff bother me. The last two days have really beaten me up. People who are not part of the China adoption community just don't understand the upheaval that China is creating. And what is sad is that the children are the ones truly being hurt. China is a prideful country. I want Brynn to be proud of China. I respect the pride. But, this whole trying-to-save-face-in-front-of-the-whole-world thing is really tiresome. Most people in the civilized world know that China allows international adoption. This isn't big news. Now that the Olympics are only a few short months away, they decided that they don't want it to be known that they don't take care of their own, that many babies and children are in orphanages, that special needs kids (kids who aren't "perfect") aren't wanted. Well, guess what? Most people already know this. This isn't late breaking news.

Kevin and I are planning on sticking out the wait. We don't have the finances or the energy to start with another country. And, truly, we love China. We love the culture, the people, the beauty of the counrty. I'm just not in love with the higher ups in the Chinese government that are playing with my life. How dare they leave children in orphanages while there are 20,000 to 30,000 families wanting to take care of them. All children deserve love. How many are truly getting that? How many kids are going to "age out" in 10 years and be sold in slavery or prostitution or work in sweat shops their entire lives because some boss wanted to save face? It just plain sucks.

But my life does go on even if it is in limbo and probably will be for many years. Last night Brynn curled up on my lap under a blanket and played with her LeapFrog ClickStart computer. It was the best feeling in the world. My daughter loves me without question and Kevin and I can't imagine our world without her. If only #2 was here to complete our little family. We love her already. She is a part of our life, a part of our heart.

This is me right now

I am pissed and depressed and I am not a drinker. Not a good combination. China sent referrals for 5 days, 2 of which are the weekend, so really only 3 days of LIDs. This just sucks.

There are 255 days between December 19th and our LID. Divide that by 5 days and you get 51 months. That is over 4 years from now until our referral. That just can't be correct, right? Oh, and don't forget, March 2006 was a HUGE LID month. It will probably take a year to get through it alone.

I just want my daughter, Brynn's little sister. That's all. So glad we just refiled for our new 171. Woohoo--one free one from the US government. Too bad we'll need how many more before we get to China?

Maybe I will start drinking.

Congrats to Jim and Amy

China surprised many, many people. Our friends received their referral on New Year's Eve. Little Ilayna is 10 months old from Jiangxi Province. She is just too cute and we are so excited for them. They started the process when the wait was only 6 months and ended up waiting 2 years, 2 weeks from LID to referral. They will probably be traveling to NanChang within the next 8 weeks. Hopefully Chinese New Year doesn't prolong the wait that much. She needs to be home for her first birthday!! Again, congrats to them. Maybe China will surprise us again with quicker referrals!! Yeah, right.

Happy New Year...a day late

We had a great New Year's weekend although we are all sick with colds. This cold will not leave us. We have used so many Kleenex in the past 3 weeks.

We went bowling with a few friends and then back to one of their houses. Brynn made it to 11:59. As we were counting the ball down, she decided she was tired and wanted to go home. The wall had been hit. She was done. So, home for us at 12:01.

New Year's Day was spent with my stepmom and her beau. Brynn loves being at Grammy's. I'm hoping that Brynn will get to spend more time with Jean once she retires in March. Brynn would really enjoy that.

We wish a wonderful new year to everyone. May everyone's lives be wonderful and hopefully China will speed up the referral process so that many, many precious babies may come home.